my favorite peanut butter

when i was a kid, we got foodstamps and welfare peanut butter. the peanut butter was solid stuff that split into chunks and refused to spread smoothly on bread. if it wasn't spread just so, it would tear holes in our whole wheat bread (note: it was not the wimpy wonder bread). it was The Most Awesome Stuff. In. The. World. it tasted like pure peanuts, the inside of a reese's peanut butter cup. my whole life i've wished i could somehow finagle just one more bucket of that peanut butter. even the natural PB in the store isn't quite right.

in my homemade experiments i've come across recipes for making your own peanut butter. some of them call for just peanuts, some add a bit of oil, others a bit of honey. months ago i tried one and wasn't quite satisfied with the results. then one day, going through the cupboards, i grabbed an open can of roasted peanuts and thought 'what the heck.' i pulled out the food processor, determined to grind those peanuts as long as necessary to get real peanut butter.

5 minutes later i was done.

it splits off in chunks. it didn't rip holes in the toast i tested it on, but it does taste very close to that welfare peanut butter of my dreams. guess i don't have to get on government aid to have perfect peanut butter.

how to make your own welfare peanut butter:

grab some peanuts. throw them in the food processor and turn it on. the nuts get ground up, then form a lump. it's not done yet. keep it going and the natural peanut oil will release and the lump smooths out into peanut butter. test your peanut butter on some toast or an old-fashioned PBJ sandwich. close your eyes and enjoy.